Why do babies and children respond to their own name?

What the research shows

• About 4 and a half months: recognition. Mandel, Jusczyk and Pisoni (Psychological Science, 1995) found that infants preferred to listen to their own name over other names, including names with the same stress pattern.
• 5 months: a cue to pay attention. In an EEG study of 30 German infants (Parise and colleagues, PLoS ONE, 2010), brain responses to the infant's own name differed from responses to other names, and infants attended more to an object after hearing their own name.
• 6 months: an anchor for new words. Bortfeld and colleagues (Psychological Science, 2005) found that 6-month-olds recognized a new word that followed their own name, or "Mommy", but not one that followed an unfamiliar name.
• 9 months: a milestone. The CDC lists "looks when you call her name" among milestones by 9 months.
• Preschool: "mine" sticks. In a study of 64 children aged 4 to 6 (Cunningham and colleagues, 2013), toys sorted as the child's own were remembered better than toys sorted as someone else's, with the gap shrinking with age. In 23 three-year-olds (Axelsson and colleagues, 2018), new words linked to the child were remembered better right away, but the difference was gone four hours later.

What it does not show

• None of these studies tested songs with a child's name, or showed that hearing their name in a song helps development, language or intelligence.
• Paying attention is not the same as learning. The memory advantages were small and, in one study, gone within hours.
• The samples were small (23 to 64 children) and tested in labs, so results may not carry over to every child or home.
• A baby who does not turn to their name on a given day is not a diagnosis. If you have concerns about how your child responds or communicates, the CDC suggests talking with your child's doctor and asking about developmental screening.

Why it makes sense

A name is the word a baby hears most, said by the people who care for them, usually just before something happens: a cuddle, a feed, a game. It becomes a signal that this next bit is for them. Later, being named in a story or a song is simply a way of being included. That is reason enough to use names warmly and often, with no bigger promise attached.

Using names kindly

Say the name before good things, not only before "no". Use it to invite rather than command: "Maya, want to see?" In groups, make sure every child hears their own name, which is why teachers use name songs at circle time. See name songs for circle time, or a song with your child's name for home.